Eric J. Ma’s Website

It was the first Man Utd game that I saw in which United lost. But credit goes to Barcelona – very disciplined in the midfield, good on the counter – for they played the way I expected Manchester United to play.

Romance conquers the conquistadors of England. But not for long – better luck lads, for I know the trophy will come back to Manchester!

After getting home from groceries, I became my own kitchen technician. A good 2 hours of non-stop prep work, and it still isn’t done!

Just as PCRs can be run in the background while I do other experiments, so can boiling water and eggs for making egg salad spread. So, as I ran a “boiling water reaction” in the background, I also prepped the cilantro by chopping it finely in a food processor. And then as the “egg boiling reaction” proceeded downstream of that, I prepped another big pot of water for boiling the >1 year old frozen grapes to make them into grape juice. As the grapes boiled in the background, I set myself to making the egg salad spread.

Tomorrow, there’s the task of peeling and mincing the garlic and soaking them into olive oil, but I need another productive task to run in the background. Say… laundry, perhaps?

When (and “if” especially) I become a grad student at the best schools and an undergrad wants to work with me, I’ll interview him or her by asking him/her to do one of two things:

• Follow a protocol in the lab
• Cook with me

Following a protocol in the lab would tell me how well he or she is able to read instructions and follow them. Cooking with me, on the other hand, would tell me how creative he/she is and how cooperatively I can work with him/her. Contrary to popular thought, I would certainly be much more receptive to working with a student who chooses the second, as familiarity in the lab is trainable, but cooperativity and creativity isn’t always so.

So the day has come, that it’s Gunti’s leaving party. The atmosphere is great, there’s a lot of socializing, a lot of chatting, a lot of food, and in general, a really comfortable atmosphere. Gunti and Erin really made the place cozy, and the furnishing is great too. There are chips and alcohol, the usual lot, but if only taken one glass of beer and I only plan on taking one glass.

The day has come, that I say my thanks to a teacher who has given me my orientation into science. If Ninan was the principal who said, “Come in.”, then Gunti is the teacher who took me around the campus, gradually easing me in and then teaching me in one subject – one field in science.

His style of teaching was really hands off, letting me run with the experiments on my own and letting me figure things out. And when I had questions, he would sit down with me and “chat about it”, to use his own words. Usually, after listening to his explanation, I would get it, and that really pays tribute to the clarity with which he explained things. I think one thing that I really learned from him was that if you don’t know something, just go look it up, or else design an experiment to figure it out – the way real science is done.

I learned a lot more than just that though, and to go through them one by one would be way too tedious an entry for an iPhone. We are both football fans, and we had a lot of fun watching and supporting Germany through the Euros, talking about EPL and the Bundesliga, with myself getting poked fun at for being an England and best of all a Manchester United fan…

But all in all, I have to say, Gunti was one of the best teachers I have had by a long mile. I’ve had so much fun working with him, and I hope he does well in the future back home in Germany. Steph says I shouldn’t mope around and brood over this, and I guess I should take the grad student’s advice.

Off I go, to enjoy a bit more with my teacher, Professor Grassl.

He sat there , patiently, as it was snipped off, bit by bit, bunch by bunch, strand by strand. Staring into the mirror, the maestro’s hand at work, diligently trimming away.

Soon, the lion’s mane was gone, and what was left was a smart looking, trim-cut top. Fitting of any stage.

I’m so glad my long hair’s finally gone.

This is just amazing.

After leaving from the lab at 9:30PM, having sat there writing, feeling distracted and then giving up on all hopes of writing up the proposal, I decided to just take off and leave.

Something brought me to the solace of the Rose Garden at UBC, a place that is quiet and tranquil amidst the night lights that keep it illuminated within the blanket of the night.

Suddenly, the blanket of the night makes the night not so cold. Listening to hymns and worship songs and gazing at the night sky, I didn’t feel the cold that accompanied the chill of the night. Staring at the night sky, I spotted the Big Dipper and the hunter, shining amidst a rare clear night in Vancouver. I saw the crescent moon, headed towards a waxing after emerging from a waning.

Looking down, I saw the warm lights illuminating the pavilions in the Rose Garden, the bare thorns or roses that have yet to blossom into flowers again. A beautiful garden, especially in the summer, but now with a different take – warmth within the coldness, a reflection of the tender care that went into building the garden.

Having worked so hard all term, suddenly I thought of you again. It’s been over 2 years now. Aside from the occasional buzz on Facebook, the rare message over MSN, we’ve gone our separate paths. You are on your way to becoming a doctor, and I am on my way to becoming a scientist. Our paths converged for a year, and then we parted altogether in the end. My friend, how are you doing now? It’s been a while indeed. Has life been treating you well?

I see my life, and I’ve accomplished much, but yet amidst that, I have the duality of failure accompanying it. Yes, I have walked entirely on the path of being a research-bound undergraduate, and I have had glimpses of the promised land, when I will be carrying out my own research project full-time, doing something that I really enjoy. Yes, I have won scholarships, emerged victorious at competitions, established a reputation amongst my peers and most of all, done great work here at UBC, but I still have missing parts in my life.

Yes, there is the promised land, a time and place when I will be doing research of my own. But there is also the uncompromisable reality of walking this path alone, with only a few friends here and there walking with me on parts of the journey. My first-year friends have gone their own ways, some to different programs, others within the programs but taking a longer co-op route. New friends that I have made have come and gone. This group of people I hang out with now, the iGEM people, will all be gone by the time we finish this project and I move onto the next step.

As I listen to the song, “I Will Be Here”, I cannot help think, what a beautiful song, indeed. It is a wedding song, but as a Christian song, it also speaks mightily of the love of Christ for all of humanity. At the center of the song is the message, “I will be here.” A duty that one puts on oneself towards one’s life partner, one that sounds simple yet demands a lot of focus, discipline and concentration amidst the distractions of the world. A duty called out of pure love for one’s significant other. Yet, at times I think forward and wonder, will that day come, that I have the courage to tell anybody that “I will be here”? Will that day come, that I can overcome my fears of loss and disappointment again? Will that day come, that I will be able to tell anybody my darkest and deepest secrets that would disappoint the ordinary person, and, out of love, still face acceptance and encouragement in the midst of sinning? Will that day come, that I will be mature enough to handle the real challenges of interpersonal relationships?

As I type, I sigh, because unlike the visions of victory in a competition, unlike the visions of accomplishing a project and seeing the end results, unlike the visions of seeing a paper of my own being published, I cannot envision myself doing those things aforementioned above. There’s that insecurity that I still cannot overcome, a sense of not wanting to disappoint the other party, a desire not to make the same mistake of a distant relationship that stops me from getting close to anybody. Because if I try, there may be no point down the road when I, once again, walk my own path and she her own. Or, in the case of a buddy, a brother, a close friend, the pain of separation is huge too… to not have a buddy to chill around and chat with when there’s nothing to do after enjoying months of each other’s company.

Right now, I recognize that I am of value to others for what I can do, my capabilities, what I can offer to them. But I wonder if in this world there is value of myself simply for who I am? Will anybody recognize that? Will I be able to recognize that value of everybody else? Will I stop being utilitarian like the world asks me to, and instead recognize the intrinsic value of the human being?

Suddenly, the night is cold, and I think I should go back home. I look up to the stars, and amidst the light pollution from the garden, the campus, the city, they don’t seem as clear as when I first arrived. The light aura veils the true glory of the night sky, just like the Milky Way that I saw at Bamfield.

No, I cannot be distracted. Must. Go. On. Look at the sky again, but close your eyes this time. You will see the truth behind the veil. Success takes sacrifice.

It’s snowing in April?! Nature must be pulling an April fool’s joke.

I just slept from 6:30PM to 6:30AM, 6 of which were spent on the bed, and 6 of which were spent on the floor. *blink blink*

With 9 hours of sleep behind me (finally), how can I not be restful?

Okay, that settles it. I’m gonna have to lose weight. The stool was the last straw. Hopefully the leg scars don’t go away, as a reminder…

On second thought, you’re quite lucky. People like you. Haha, romance falls your way. As for me, however, I don’t get that kind of luck. Must be because of my serious research geek complex. It certainly is for the better – the last time I was in a relationship, both parties got hurt so badly.

I hope the funding comes in soon. The more funding we have at our disposal, the better. It’ll be easier for us to carry out the research. I can’t wait to go out to start negotiations.

Will school turn for the better? I sure hope so. Just get back into the 80s, just get back there…

Well, I trust your skills in negotiating a tricky and rocky path. You’ll do fine. May God bless you with wisdom and clarity to see His vision for your life.

I shall try out resolutions, just like Jonathan Edwards. I resolve to not waste time, but make productive use of every moment.